My "Memories of Fr. Dimitry Egoroff"
Parts: One, Two, Three, Four
[ ... ] these following FOUR parts of my: "My Memories of Fr. Dimitry Egoroff"...my original monastic father confessor, and why I came out west in the autumn of 1964. I have always maintained much respect for him, ...though he & I could not agree about some issues, as jurisdiction, etc. Some in the OCA... desire to have him glorified. I... do believe that he is among the righteous.
Rd. Daniel
From: oregdan@hotmail.com
To: [withheld]
Subject: My "Memories of Fr. Dimitry Egoroff" Parts: One,Two,Three,Four
Date: Sun, 28 Sep 2008 14:21:51 -0600
Sunday Sept.15/28, 2008, Afterfeast of the Exaltation of the Cross
I shall at this ....moment, share via email, 4 parts of my recollections of Fr. Dimitry Egoroff, which I have been asked to do, by some who want to compose his life. Perhaps (?) he may eventually be declared a saint by the OCA, that....I have nothing to do with. I am only retelling some of my basic memories of him....before my forgetful head cannot recall them. So...take my 'memories' for what they are.
I truly do believe that he was a righteous man, but whether he IS a saint in Heaven, of course...that I cannot know. One thing that we all know, and that is that our Orthodox church teaches that...saints....are not 'perfect', as only God! is perfect. To my perspectives on Orthodoxy, therefore, he made some errors in his understandings regarding jurisdiction and....so forth. That is why, though I always retained a respect for him, yet...I in good conscience, had to depart his OCA and go to the Synod.... and now, Vl. Agafangel's church, etc.
But, I made up my mind many years ago, that...I...was not qualified...to pass judgement upon others, especially foreign born clergy such as Fr. Dimitry, who barely survived the...terrible and very confused aftermath of the fall of old Russia, etc.....which caused MANY to take differing paths, as to what bishop or jurisdiction they aligned themselves with. For me, I....needed to align...MYSELF with what I knew to be the right church, etc....while refusing to judge other's decisions., etc.
Of course, as you will notice, I have accented the positive, about Fr. Dimitry,.. .because of what I know is 'negative' about him, is mostly paltry stuff anyway.
Otherwise, he and I were two very different persons, and thus culture/language/age/life's experiences....put a wall between us....unfortunately, but...such is life I fear, such is life.
Daniel out here-
PART ONE:
MY PERSONAL MEMORIES OF FR. DIMITRY EGOROFF, and of those people and events connected to him, etc. (to the best that I know):
PART ONE: MEMORY ETERNAL! To The Faithful Priest-Monk, Father Dimitry (Egoroff)! THE MEMORY OF THE RIGHTEOUS, IS CELEBRATED WITH HYMNS OF PRAISE!
Fr. Dimitry was born 'in a village....near Moscow", but his date of birth, I do not know. But, he was there, when Stalin ruled. Fr. Dimitry...when asked about his childhood, or his past life...did not like to respond, clearly because , as he said, a monastic must forget his past, his -pre-monastic worldly life, and also because he must have endured and witnessed many horrors, which any decent person would desire to not dwell upon. He did answer me, once, to such questions: "I was arrested and put in prison ....(and I would add-obviously... tortured)... and then I escaped in the snow, in the winter....to Finland.. My toes on my (one) foot were frozen, and so I lost them" Whether this imprisonment happened AFTER he was at Valaam, or before, I do not know! He always limped on that side, for the rest of his life. IF? he had been tortured, and ...that....caused his foot malady, only he knew the full truth. Again, he never liked to speak about himself or his sorrows, as he considered that...un-monk-like. He always!...tried to be, a good monk, a sincere Christian, and a lover of all...who suffer. He NEVER! spoke ill of anyone! EVER! He would often, when given something or meeting someone, give the Russian bear-hug, and say, with most sincere feeling, "Thank you broder!"... and always, he was blessing people, Orthodox or locals, all. He often made the sign of the cross...in the air.
But, before his escape, (apparently) he had gone to Old Valaam Monastery in it's very last days,..with his dear friend, later MP--Bp. Mark (Shavykin) "of Ladoga", (actually, he later in his life, became the MP bishop of San Francisco....after he left the Metropolia & Holy Trinity Cathedral) where they both were...novices, for a short time...untill the Red Army advanced and seized the monastery,...that is when they...and most others there, fled. It seems, that they both spent some time, (how long, I don't know) at the "New Valaam" monastery in Finland. At that time, the "New Calendar" was being...pushed upon the Orthodox Church in Finland, by it's government, and many monks at New Valaam, resisted it.( FR. DIMITRY, ALL HIS LIFE, STUCK WITH THE TRADITIONAL CHURCH CALENDAR!) But soon afterwards, they both....emigrated to France. In France, Fr. Dimitry attended the St. Sergius Academy in Paris,- which institution, I THINK he did graduate from (?), and afterwards he was tonsured/ordained to the priesthood (but by what bishop I'm not sure, though he always referred to Bishop Evlogius of Paris, in glowing/admiring terms, as: "he was a 'svetlosty chelovek!"....a "holy man"). Fr. Dimitry was a priest of this Bishop Evlogius, while he was in France, that I do know. After his ordination, he was assigned to a small rural French-village, Russian church, somewheres in France, (again, Mother Susanna has a photo or two of that little church in a French field) and was the parish priest there...for some period of time. France, at that time, welcomed warmly these Russian emigrees, but was literally flooded! by Russian refugees who were all fleeing from communism, and from their destroyed homeland. Where his friend, later-Bp. Mark was, I'm not sure, but most likely he was also in France...or....he MAY have preceded Fr. Dimitry to America, I don't know. MOTHER Susanna, at Kazan Skete in Santa Rosa, has Fr. Dimitry's French passport photo, from that period (circa 1950 or so). In that photo, one sees him in his youngest visage.
In 1951 (again, I think it was in that year) Fr. Dimitry emigrated from France, to America. But where he was first, I'm not sure, however...it was in 1951 that a pious Russian lady in San Francisco, a Maria Lewry, (her husband was Irish-American, while she was born in China of a Russian family) had donated to the Metropolia-Western American-diocese, PART of her family's approximate 40 acres -their summer-vacation property, (17 acres given to the church) in the scenic/forested Point Reyes area, about one-hour's drive north of San Francisco, near the Pacific Ocean......to honour the memory of her departed son, Eugene Lewry, said to be, "the first American soldier to die in World War II", (many years later, I heard some say that Eugene Lewry was, 'the last American soldier to be killed in WWII'....but I had heard, 'the first') and it was to be called, "St. Eugene's Hermitage" ('the putinka')...in honour of her son's patron saint, the early Christian, soldier Martyr St. Eugene. It was extremly beautiful thick & dark forest on the slopes of a mountain ridge, rather isolated, with no immediate neighbors, except many cows in the uphill pasture, and the wild deer. Fr. Dimitry lived a very sparse life there, at first in his cloth-tent, with few visitors, and he seldom went out. However, whenever, over the years, his bishop called him to...fill-in for some absent parish priest, in far-flung parts of the huge western diocese, Fr. Dimitry NEVER refused to go (as many married priests DID refuse) so much so, that at the first diocesan meeting in 1964 or 65(?) in San Francisco, held in Christ the Saviour Church on Anza Street in the Richmond district of San Francisco, (which I attended with my spiritual father, as his novice, Fr. Dimitry) Archbishop John ...patted Fr. Dimitry on his head, in front of all, and said, (in his French-Russian accent): "This is my ONLY obedient priest!" This...'filling in' in parishes, poor (often abused and wrongfully maligned by sundry ill-willed souls) Fr. Dimitry obediently did....for much of his life, (though in his heart, he clearly preferred living as a hermit, alone in his beloved St. Eugene's woods)...yet, also, he did love PEOPLE and he often said, "I need to...serve to the people!", until he could no longer physically travel, and as his health gradually failed him, and after he 'officially retired' in his declining years at his Kazan Skete, then on the outskirts of Santa Rosa, California- nursed by the nuns there, (basically, who had! to leave the Calistoga Convent!) till his passage, the refugee-nuns that he...had provided a home for. He gave them a monastic home, and they....nursed him lovingly till he passed on. HE....allowed the nuns to...take-over, his retirement monastery....which he had ..planned on being his....hermitage. But, Fr. Dimity always bowed to God's will, and he adjusted his own plans accordingly, especially when the issue in front of him, dealt with...MERCY, and other human beings...in need. GOD! sent the nuns, so Fr. Dimitry merely opened his door to them....he really could not do otherwise. In Fr. Dimitry's mind, even 'his' door, and 'his' house....as with everything else, belonged to......God! "The earth is the Lord's, and the fullness thereof!"...he totally believed.
Maria Lewry, whom I spoke to personally shortly before her death from cancer in about 1972 or 73, told me her original...dream...of what she wanted to be built there, (built somehow, by...others) basically a village from long-ago old Russia (something fantastical and which...never materialized). MEMORY ETERNAL-! to her and her entire family, their souls have gone from this earth, while their earthly temples are all buried mostly , to the left side of the chapel in the Serbian Cemetery in Colma, California.
However, perhaps providentially, at the exact moment that Maria Lewry donated that property to the church,...there appeared Fr. Dimitry, needing a place to...continue..his monastic vocation, some isolated place in the woods, etc. So, after meeting with Maria Lewry, and with the blessing of his bishop (Archbishop John-Shahovskoy), Fr. Dimitry.....went to St. Eugene's Hermitage...to reside. His old friend, later-Bp. Mark was, most likely, then, the rector-priest at Holy Trinity Cathedral (Metropolia) in San Francisco.
At first, St. Eugene's was the forest-primeval, (though later on, Fr. Dimitry did permit some tree-thining-logging, "to let some sun in!") in a dense grove of virgin-growth huge Douglas Firs, and Fr. Dimitry lived in a cloth tent, (it appeared as an old WWII army tent) later in a small wooden cabin of about 10 feet x 8 feet in space, heated by a tiny woodstove. Very beautiful black-n-white photos of his early days there, I did come across in later years, when I was caretaker there between 1972-75 or thereabouts, but...alas! they seem to have vanished, after I had returned them to his hands....... I believe, that...he..destroyed them, in his conceptions of not wanting to...remember the past -'reverie', or to glorify himself -again, because he was a monk, through-and-through, he had turned his back on this world and it's false values!. He always carried himself, as if he were a traveler, a stranger, the perpetual 'polumnik"....only here for awhile, but aimed to reach a far away land, where his heart abided, The Marriage Feast of The Lamb, the New Jerusalem. Fr. Dimitry's heart was never....here...it was always....in Heaven.
"Little-by-little", in Russian, 'malo-po-malo', (a favorite expression of Fr. Dimitry's), other simple buildings were constructed, (often of scrap lumber and cast-off building materials) by his own hands and by the hands of a few dedicated church-workers from San Francisco, such as Andrew Belogolovy (Memory Eternal!)...and a number of other pious souls, now long departed to their heavenly rewards.
A modest chapel, with adjoining two rooms/ and a vestry....and a small 'trapeza" (hall) building with a kitchen & bathroom, were constructed. For a long time, Fr. Dimitry lived in the trapeza....in later years. Later too, another cabin, plus a small house, and a tool-shed...were built, mainly by the determined inveterate carpenter, Andrew Belogolovy (he came, once a week, EVERY WEEK! for years and years! until he died, on the one-bus-a-day from San Francisco,) and just kept hammering away (sometimes building things, NOT with Fr. Dimitry's blessing or to his liking)..but Fr. Dimitry always treated Andrew with much patience and love, and he never, forbade!, Andrew from doing what he had set his heart on, (and his hard head on). All that Fr. Dimitry would say to him, was: "Maybe...?...it's...not...needed?"..... said, merely as if asking a sheepish...question, as an innocent...child might ask. Usually, Andrew responded, "YES! YES!...it IS!...needed!"...with heated determination to complete...his...projects.
Also, one negative long-term process that happened, over the years, was the gradual....donating from well-meaning Russian people in San Francisco, of various defunct household items (furniture, broken washing machines, broken TVs, broken...you-name-it...other utterly.&..useless things, which ended up polluting the beautiful forest, year after year)....and Fr. Dimirty COULD NEVER ...refuse....a gift, as clearly , he did not want to offend the giver. Gifts, to him, were a sacred thing, even if.....they were all-to-often,...rubbish. Also, he never...threw ANYTHING away! He once said to me, the American...who tried to...clean up the place, with a note of mild-disgust: "Americans, throw EVERYTHING...AWAY!!!"
When I witnessed this process of the accumulation of all that...rubbish, and had personally heard from some of the 'gifters' the real reasons for these 'gifts', ( in other words, it seemed to me that they were ...using...the church property, to DUMP their junk, rather than to take it to a proper dump!) it seemed to me, that some ancient 'Russian saying' must have dictated this behaviour: "If it breaks (i.e. dies), God...must want it , so...give it to God (i.e. the church)."
to be continued...........
PART TWO:
PART TWO: Reader Daniel Everiss's Memories of Fr. Dimitry Egoroff
Sept. 12/25-n.s., 200 Apodosis of the Nativity of the Theotokos
My own direct contact with Fr. Dimitry Egoroff (in Russian, his name should be spelled, Yegoroff), began in the autumn of 1964. I had written a letter to him, from where I was (my native Ohio), telling him that I was interested in the monastic life, and asking him if I might... come to his St. Eugene's Hermitage. He quickly responded with a memorable short letter, saying:"Monkish life is good life. Come be monk.!" and it was signed: "Sinner Dimitry". and enclosed was $50.00 cash, to help my journey. And, of course, he didn't know me from Adam! Such was Fr. Dimitry.
I had worked to earn the full sufficient money for the journey, and when I arrived, around November of 1964, he warmly welcomed me, and gave me his original little cabin as my cell, and in the daily chapel services, he....struggled to do many of the priest's parts....in English! (example: from the Hapgood service book: "Ah...ga..in, and......ah...gain, in piss!, ...let....us...pr...ay, to ...de.... Lurd!" -not that HE needed English, nor did Nikolai, of course, he struggled with Hapgood-English obviously for my benefit. Finally, to ease his...painful struggle with English ( & it was painful to listen to), I told him: "Fr. Dimitry, it doesn't matter to me, ...why don't you use Slavonic?"....He responded like a little child that has just been given his Christmas present: "Oh!, yes!?"...with a big smile...of relief. Of course, for myself, I preferred my English language, and when I was doing my readings, it was in English, but our Liturgies were always in Slavonic, -which I sang along with, as I could read Slavonic. Living there also, was Nikolai Nikolaiavitch Orlowsky, who had severe life-time mental problems, no doubt starting with his chaotic war-time childhood in the Ukraine, where he saw murder and death and bombs falling, etc.....all around him, which had...apparently....driven him to madness, but a variety of madness that had at times, symptoms of...demonic possession. Much of the time, however, "Br. Nikolai" acted ....almost, normal, and since he was sort of fluent, in simple English (as Fr. Dimitry was not), he and I had many conversations. Apparently, Fr. Dimitry was his legal...sponsor and guardian, having brought him to America....via the efforts also of Abbess Juliana and her cell-attendant, Mother Anfisa....who had personally known Nikolai from Europe. When Nikolai would get out of control (which I did not witness at St. Eugene's,...well, at least not when I was a novice there in 1964) but only heard about from others...he tended to pick up knives...and chase people, etc. That got him put in Napa State Hospital and locked up, on other occasions. But.....when he was let out, he always...returned to Fr. Dimitry, who never refused him a place to stay. No one else would let him come to their door, even. Of course, in the San Franciscan Russian community, Nikolai was well-known, and...feared. Many could not understand how Fr. Dimitry permitted him to live with him, and that was but ANOTHER reason for some to criticize Fr. Dimitry in church circles.(i.e. "he allowed a mentally deranged one to live with him!....so..maybe?...he is 'crazy' himself?...who knows?"
I was at St . Eugene's twice, firstly when I was a novice of Fr. Dimitry 1964-65, and then later on, when the place had been virtually abandoned ...and had been vandalized by some local ne'er-do-wells, who stole vestments and whatever they wanted, as NO ONE was present there to stop them! (because the bishop had assigned Fr. Dimitri to Santa Rosa parish for a long period.) To help rescue the place & to guard it from further depredations, I came up there from Los Angeles, to be the custodian/part of the supposed- ' retreat center project" from 1972-75 (about), when at that time, there was an impotent (non) project, to make the place a serious "Retreat Center". In that time frame, when I lived there alone, one day, Nikolai came to visit, and I allowed him to be there. But, when I was ringing the new bells on the chapel porch, Nikolai...suddenly and without warning, with fire in his eyes and a devilish face, picked up a machete,& jumping out from around the corner of the chapel's rear outside wall..and he raised it over his head to...chop me. And since, he was only a few feet from me,...if..he had struck me, that would have been my end. God saved me, and he meekly put the machete down....and walked away. When I had written a letter about this incident to Fr. Dimitry (then the parish priest in Santa Rosa), he responded: "Dear broder Daniel, Yes,...be carefully with Nikolai.....Nikolai is mental sick....he few times tried kill me, with knife, with axe. With love in Christ, sinner Dimitry".
Also there, when I was the novice, in 1964, came (or rather...returned, as he had been at St. Eugene's numerous previous stays) was "Br. Andrew MacElvany", from Texas, and Fr. Dimitry always allowed him to stay...eventhough...in reality...he should not have, as Br. Andrew (a Rasophore in rank) was rather unstable, in his commitment to Orthodoxy and in his habit of...running to and from Catholic monasteries (where they made him...work!) then back to easy-going Orthodox Fr. Dimitry....who allowed Br. Andrew to...follow his own rule, i.e. basically to do NOTHING! to help the common effort: (he told me, in a proud superior tone: "I....follow the rule of St. Benedict!") Except, I would add, didn't the good St. Benedict order his monks to...work? Br. Andrew wouldn't, as such activities were for us peasants, apparently. When he stayed at the large Missouri Benedictine Abbey, there they MADE him work in the fields, and HARD work! Br. Andrew once, when Fr. Dimitri had ASKED me, to: "tell to Br. Andrew to help you and Nikolai with the candle-making"...and when I did speak to Br. Andrew, saying: "Fr. Dimitry has asked me, to ask you to PLEASE help me and Nikolai"..... he angrily responded to me: "No! I'm not working with that maniac!"...so much for monastic 'holy obedience'-? And, Fr. Dimitry never reprimanded Br. Andrew, never. But! in fact, crazy Nikolai's disruptive/negative presence at St. Eugene's, WAS a detrimental factor in why a number of people did leave Fr. Dimitry, including MYSELF after a year's worth of trying to live with him, Br. Andrew, another Br. Thomas (whom I never met) & some others. Fr. Dimitry was the self-appointed cook. Each person could make their own little breakfast. Nikolai & I usually ate peanut-butter on bread, with coffee, or tea, or cooked oatmeal or Roman-meal, etc. Fr. Dimitri....detested peanut butter, and he couldn't imagine how ANYONE could eat such foul stuff. Yet, because the two of us liked it, he bought it for us. But, Fr. Dimitry always prepared the lunch and the evening meals. Of course, we had no meat, but there was a simple but satisfying diet, leaning heavily on those then-cheap oval canned sardines-in-tomato sauce, salads, macaroni, rice, and some cheese, etc. Sometimes, people would bring us...walnuts from their trees (especially one family in Calistoga),...and then there were...'memorable meals' he cooked up: In "maslinitsa week" (Cheesefare), I heard the bell for the supper, so I came up the hill in the pitch-dark, a degree of darkness which only rural dwellers experience...i.e. no background city lights!, from my cabin-cell, with my candle-lantern, to enter the trapeza....filled with...smoke! It was from Fr. Dimitry's...burning of his thick-style Russian 'blini", which were created from natural sour-dough- the original Russian peasant recipe, but each thick blini was uncooked/raw in the middle of each pancake, and...burned black.....on the outside! He had 'prepared' (burnt) a small mountain of these large black things, and he had a triumphant (child-like) self-pleased look on his face, which bespoke, ..I! ....have done something good! . As the room was so thick with smoke from his 'cooking',...that I could almost not see him clearly, all that I could say to him was: "Father, maybe I will open a window?"...he answered: "Yes...maybe?" Of course, we ate and enjoyed his 'blini' anyway, telling him, "ochen kusny!"...("very delicious!") It was the way to use up the last dairy products before the first day of the Great Lent.
VARIOUS QUOTES and Happenings of Fr. Dimitry:...And opinions of others about him:
"Little-by-little"...malo-po-malo, was his general prescription for the spiritual life, and for accomplishing anything. He disdained rash or extreme or overly-emotional (passionate) methods, in general.
When I once asked him, "why don't you leave your present jurisdiction...and go to some other Orthodox church?" (because in his church, he was maligned and slandered and treated cynically by many of his fellow clergy, & basically barely-tolerated by his bishop...who himself was not well disposed to traditional Orthodox monasticism...and hence he never promoted St. Eugene's as a monastery...and which bishop, by constantly assigning Fr. Dimitry to parishes……guaranteed that Fr. Dimitry could not be at peace in his skete...and that a real/stable monastic brotherhood COULD NEVER flourish there.) In a later visit to St. Eugene's in 1972-73, Archbishop John Shahovskoy said about the place, as I walked with him: "This is a good place...for demons!"...in his quaint French-Russian accent. He had also publicly stated at the first or second diocesan-assembly: "I think the diocese does better, when I am away from it!" Memory Eternal to him!...anyway.
Fr. Dimitry got a broad smile on his face as he responded to my very personal question, which I asked him in a private conversation years later, regarding the many injustices & ill-conceived slanders done to him...by his own fellow churchmen: "Dis....is...good....for my suel!" (i.e. all of these attacks, etc.....are good for his soul!). To him, a true monastic, a true Orthodox, a true Christian, the only thing that really matters in life is: to prepare oneself for...life with God in Heaven, and injustices heaped upon one's head. coming from WHATEVER SOURCE!....HELP one get to Heaven, ('theosis') so...SLAVA BOGU! Church-politics, including slanders against him,...to Fr. Dimitry...meant nothing. Yes, of course, he had, long ago in Europe, made his own jurisdictional-affiliation commitments... which meant that he was totally loyal to and obedient to his current diocesan bishop, etc. (no matter if they disagreed about certain issues), & regarding the possibility of him running to the Russian Church In Exile as an option, he labeled those around Met. Anthony Khrapovitsky as, 'too political', he apparently was not a monarchist of any ilk, he admired his original bishop, Evlogius of Paris, and though he himself was definitely a RUSSIAN! (his close friend, Bp. Mark told me about him: 'Fr. Dimitry is a typical Russian village-PEASANT!')...yet he never thought it proper for himself to..push..Russian-ness on non-Russians, (as how many other Russian Orthodox clergy & laity alike, have tried!) He knew that what matters most, are the SOULS of mankind, and how to minister to souls, not to use Orthodoxy to promote earthly-ethnic-identities.... hence, he knew that Americans needed English., and that they have a right to be... Americans! And, by-the-way, Fr. Dimitry loved America! Fr. Dimitry was not a Russian-nationalist, but rather an Orthodox Christian-nationalist. He took each individual human being, as... a gift from God... precious and sacred. Fr. Dimitry had the mind and soul of a... missionary. God put him on this earth 'to SERVE to the people'. Someone who knew him when he was in the St. Sergius Academy in Paris, said of him.... in an admiring tone: "Fr. Dimitry was probably 'the most Orthodox' of any student in that school!" (the suggestion was that... therefore, Fr. Dimitry really didn't quite 'fit in' there.)
An up-the-mountain neighbor (up Balboa Road), a rough life-long logger-type named Pleasant Smith, related to me in 1972-73, when I was custodian of St. Eugene's, a remarkable incident with Fr. Dimitry.... which occurred some years earlier: Pleasant Smith, who had previously been allowed to do logging on the church property, also had his eye on one or two large Douglas Fir trees... near the road, and though he had previously asked Fr. Dimitry's permission to cut those big (& valuable in dollar terms as prime lumber) trees..... and had been told: "No, do not cut THOSE!!... trees!" by Father... yet,....... one day.... when he assumed that Fr. Dimitry was away in San Francisco, he cunningly... took his chainsaw... and began to cut the one large Fir tree, which was near the road & thus easy to quickly remove, (he thought, the priest will not even notice!)...... in fact he had cut it through about half-way, when....there came running up the hill, Fr. Dimitry... shouting: "Don't cut that! tree!"... whereupon Pleasant Smith, shame-faced, left. But, in a few weeks or so, Pleasant Smith... as he drove by the 'Russian church' ....as locals called the place, decided out of curiosity to stop and look at the tree he had cut 50% through..... and.......to his amazement…….. as he told me: "The tree had healed itself, there was NO indication of my saw cut whatsoever, and no mark at all! That was impossible. A MIRACLE! I think that that priest... healed it".
He also stated that Fir trees, when cut through the way he had done on that tree, could NOT heal-over the cut,....that is not the way that Fir species grow. That fir... should have... fallen over, by it's own top-heavy weight.
I had to ask myself at that account, ....can I believe this man's words? My conclusion was that he had no reason to lie, he was not a religious man anyway... so he was not the type to 'see miracles everywhere', etc. What he expressed to me, was simply his... plain human amazement, what he called 'a miracle' at what he witnessed.
The two nuns who used to come for church and Holy Communion at St. Eugene's, Abbess Juliana, and her cell-attendant, Mother Anfisa... told me almost matter-of-factly, in private: "Fr. Dimitry is a holy fool for Christ's sake". They completely believed that he possessed genuine holiness. They had known him for many years. Abbess Juliana came from the old Russian aristocracy-class, (which superior- regal bearing, she showed) before her monastic calling... which lasted most of her very long life, and her long-time monastic fellow struggler, Mother Anfisa (a sweet soul). The Abbess was raised with tutors, including one who taught her Oxford-English,... but she refused to speak English to me, as she felt that I... should learn Russian, as she was one who seemed to believe that to be truly/fully Orthodox, one needs to also become Russian!) I certainly always respected Abbess Juliana, but my heart was warmed more by sweet simple Mother Anfisa, who I think came from 'peasant stock'... no pretensions.
But, sweet humble Mother Anfisa, who spoke only a little broken English, was very kind to me, and it was she who sewed my podrasnik (novice's cassock), it was she who always brought us her home-made Russian monastic foods (OH! how I miss her Russian-style pickles! and her pickled wild mushrooms!), it was she who was a kindred-gardener & who used to have me smiling with her tales of her heroic battles with the ,"gopher-rum" (gophers) to save even some of her vegetable plantings (the two nuns lived rent-free for many years in the rambling & spacious country house of a pious Russian-widow lady, Marrianna Belkevich/Wieland... who had a large dairy farm in Fallon, California.... near Tomales Bay... north of Pt. Reyes.) In essence, the nuns made that house into their convent. Marianna also took in there a few other older Russian ladies, who had nowhere else to go. Whenever the nuns could get a driver to take them to St. Eugene's, they came.
...to be continued........
PART THREE:
PART THREE:
Eve of Sept. 13/26-n.s., 2008, Forefeast of The Exaltation of The Cross
continued from previous Part Two:
When I was Fr. Dimitry's novice in 1964-65, I went with him for an entire Bright Week, visiting EVERY DAY, all day long, in San Francisco, to many many Russian people's homes, to bring them the Paschal greetings, and for Fr. Dimitry to console them. In many cases, he seemed to especially visit those... who seldom/or never went to church. One bedridden elderly lady, when a friend or relative opened her front door for us , ...when she realized that it was a priest coming to see her, she yelled out in Russian: in a bitter-sounding voice: "Prayers are not needed! I don't want prayers!"...to which Fr. Dimitry, ignoring her words, merely mumbled as if talking to himself:.. "..da!...da! (yes!..yes!)........ of course!...... but where is your ikon?", as he comically looked high and low for it, in an exaggerated manner, talking to the invisible 'hidding' ikon: "Ikon! Oh Ikon, where are you hidding?... where have they put you?, come to me, dear ikon!".......until she finally relented and told him with a tone of impatience with this fool of a bothersome priest: "It's in that drawer, over there!.. open it and take it out already!"...which he did, & he said with joy: "AAH! there! you are! ....dear.... holy ...little... ikon! Glory to God!" and after he had set it on top of the table, he immediately began to sing the Paschal troparion and a short litany, which included of course, prayers for the ailing lady in residence. The woman was in tears and thanked him profusely, and she gladly asked for and received his blessing, before we left. My impression was that no priest had dared to come into her house for a long time, as she would not have welcomed him, and she must have told them all to 'leave her alone'. Fr. Dimitry went, anyway. He seemed to have a long list of those who needed prayers, the most.
And such were a number of others we gave the Paschal greetings to, that Bright Week in their own homes. Also, Fr. Dimitry did not care what jurisdiction they were in, he visited and greeted all, ....and they all received him. He also made routine home/hospital visits.
His commemorations at Proskomedia and at his long Pannychidas, he read many thousands of names from the memorial-books, and the paper lists of the departed and the sick. Also, he conducted a very extensive (daily) letter-correspondence with many many people, writing to them in Russian and in English (for English, he had to use several bi-lingual dictionaries, but he DID respond in English!... even if he often used stilted archaic words). He never quite mastered the English language, but he could express basic ideas, often.... hitting a spot in the person's heart, that they did not expect, using Russian... or English.. or no words at all. Fr. Dimitry, to some people's belief, did seem to have a perception/intuition/vision... that most do not have.
Also, he was in a constant state of... conversation with the unseen, (usually perceived as... lunacy in our society) raising his hands in supplication and groaning aloud... when and where it was not expected, as on a city bus, while walking, while in someone's car.... in many places, including when he often walked through the forest at his St. Eugene's, often calling aloud: "SEE!.... SEE!... AAH!"... or other words ....... which did cause some upset upon occasion, as he startled some people. Him doing this on the .... bus from Pt. Reyes Station to San Francisco, caused me... to sit apart from him, as I didn't want to be seen as sitting next to this strange-acting person... on one occasion anyway. Fr. Dimitry was in... his own world... preoccupied with another realm. Again, he often made the sign of the cross in various directions, also... seemingly without any particular (observable) reason.
Some among Russians,(even though by their culture... seem more tolerant of bizarre behaviour than we Americans tend to be) saw these strange manifestations in him, as signs that he was either: a holy fool for Christ's sake, or.... simply 'very strange'.. But, he was not... pretending... strangeness, that was the real Fr. Dimitry. "What you saw, was what you got!" as the saying goes. He was no phony of any sort.
I don't think that Fr. Dimitry cared what anyone thought of him. His main concern seemed to be, how to please his God. Thus, the ways of God... are not our ways.
Once, when we were visited by a well-meaning Russian lady and her painter-male friend from Santa Barbara (& they always visited us in a lent, and always brought... roast chicken! to be 'kind' to Fr. Dimitry & us all.... not realizing that we did not eat meat, routinely as monastics). But, typically, when they set the chicken on the table, Fr. Dimitry nibbled on it, and said no word of reprimand.. only:"Spasibo" Thank you. Once, the good lady made Fr. & myself do a tour of inspection of the ikons in our chapel, which ikons were indeed a hodgepodge of styles and varying qualities of workmanship, etc. -most of them, gifts of course.
She made us stop & look closely at each and every ikon on the wall, while she passed her approval or... disdain: (all spoken in Russian) "This one, is NOT Orthodox!" ...to which Fr., who seemed to be in hearty agreement with her every comment, responded:
"Yes! Yes!... of course not!, Yes, How true!", then she would say: "This one should be taken out!". He responded: "Most certainly! truly! Yes!, Yes!"...and so forth. There were very few that she did approve of. The entire back wall of the chapel, at that time, had been totally painted with a very crude painting of a number of saints in a row.... truly poor work, done by some former brother Thomas. At that wall she said: "Brother Daniel! paint this over with white paint!" ...which I heartily agreed with her, as I.... had to suffer! looking at it EVERY DAY in our services. Father said: "Yes! Yes! most certainly. It needs to go, of course!". After this tour was over and the couple left to return to Santa Barbara, I... who was always looking for something useful to do, eagerly asked Father: (As I never did anything there, without first asking his blessing) "Should I go now and get some white paint and paint this wall?" His dry response: "Maybe...later.......... Maybe it's not needed?" It was never painted over. Again, it had been a GIFT and done by a former brother there, whose intention had been good,... though his ikon-painting skills, non-existent. It was truly ugly, however, virtually grotesque. It fit the canonical prohibition: "Let not the bungler, paint the holy icons!" But.... Fr. Dimitry seemed to take an 'economia' attitude in many church-related matters, and too, he practiced the monastic rule to: "To be...easy on others, but... hard on oneself".
Yet, on another separate visit by herself and her painter friend, they shocked me, because they brought.... as a GIFT... a matching pair of HUGE oil-painted... very realistic-western-style 'ikons' as the main ikonstasis ikons, of Christ and of the Theotokos. The painter of these... monstrosities, was in truth a rather good... portrait-painter, so his painting skill was excellent, but..... he had zero feeling for ikonographic norms. These... horrible 'ikons' replaced the smaller older mismatched but pleasing, ones we had hung there.... which were rather good-style ikons. So, with our new 'gift' ikons I finally discovered what were that lady's true 'tastes' in ikonography. But, they stayed.... and in later years, they ended up on Kazan Skete's ikonstasis.... where I suppose, they still are. Fr. Dimitry did have some very old and very 'strict style' ikons, but I fear, he tended to like the softer more realistic-styled ones, which.... many of his generation (after-all) also had... grown up with... and liked). But, he had a broad definition of what was acceptable, in ikons.
Also, on the subject of gifts, on a window sill.... above our trapeza table, there was sitting, a small (cheap-quality) painted-plaster Catholic statue of Christ, which had had a 'sacred heart' on it's chest.... before... someone (probably Fr. Dimitry) had scrapped the heart off and painted over it with gold paint. It was not placed near our ikon corner however, just sitting there, all by itself where one might put some odd brick-a-brack, just for decoration.. where I HAD to view it, at every meal! One day, I got the courage to finally ask Father about it by asking: "Ah, Father Dimitry, but where? did you get... that?"...He responded: "Present!"...i.e. it was a gift, so... he kept it... I think it came from a kindly Catholic lady in town ( a real, 'do-gooder' soul, one of those rare precious souls, a "Salt of the Earth" type.. who nursed sick neighbors and without being paid did numerous acts of charity.... as part of her normal way of life... she had adopted, 'the poor foreign father') who often gave him & all of us who lived at 'the Russian church', rides and brought us our mail and our groceries... and collected monies from locals... none of whom were Orthodox, to improve the place, "Sis"-Adelina Arndt (actually of Italian decent herself, though her husband was of Germanic heritage)... so as to not offend her, he kept it... and placed it where she might occasionally see it. And in return, he gifted her with some Orthodox ikons and a vigil lamp, including of her patron saint, St. Adelina.... and early Christian saint, ...which things she installed in a place of honour in her living room, in her home down in the town (Pt. Reyes Station). Sis (short for 'sister") Arndt.... was our human guardian angel... for many many years! Fr. Dimitry would have had a much more difficult an existence at his St. Eugene's Hermitage, without her!
Once, when Father had been commanded by the bishop, which happened often, to fill in at some parish church for their sunday liturgy (which meant that we at St. Eugene's could not have our sunday liturgy), and just about before Father was to leave to walk down the mountain to get the bus to San Francisco, poor distraught Br. Andrew was moaning and ...loudly groaning (so that Father would hear him in the next room): "Oh! it's not right! to take our Father Dimitry away, so we can't have liturgy! It's NOT! right!"......... at which words, Fr. Dimitry came into that room and meekly sat down on the sofa next to Br. Andrew (as a little errant child might do... who has been caught doing some wrong).... and meekly and softly asked him: "Broder Andrew, vat you tink?...maybe....I go?", ...maybe not?" That put the whole problem & it's solution square in Br. Andrew's lap, and taken aback.... he stumbled for words but finally said: "Well.... Father.... I guess... if the bishop! says to go, ...you... have! to go"? To which Fr. Dimitry meekly responded: "No, da!" (i.e. of course). That ended Br. Andrew's moanings. In a similar manner, Fr. Dimitry dealt with other upset people and thorny situations: he solved arguments and anger, by his... humility and kind heart.... blaming himself rather than others. It usually worked.
Another very memorable happening: In 1972-73, when I was at St. Eugene's as the custodian, a local young lady who shared a large rented house with her hippie-type friends, down the road, who had been raised as a child as a Catholic... had produced a baby with her (unmarried) boyfriend, and she came and asked me, if an Orthodox priest... would... baptize her new born baby girl-? I told her, that I didn't know that answer, but that I would ask. So, I explained the ENTIRE situation on the phone to Fr. Dimitry.... stationed in Santa Rosa, expecting him to say... no. To my surprise, he enthusiastically responded: "Baptism... VERY!... important!, VERY! important!"... and that he would come quickly, which he did, bringing with him an elderly Russian couple from the Santa Rosa parish to be God-parents. Father Dimitry came, and in our St. Eugene's chapel, he performed the entire Baptism, every word... in his somewhat tortured "English" ......from the Hapgood Service book! (the only Slavonic was the 'Mnogaya Leta' at the very end).. and he put on little, KYRA, an expensive solid gold baptismal cross & chain (for which he was never reimbursed). I know that the mother was grateful for the baptism, but she told me afterwards.... she, no doubt feeling guilty of.. her way of life & how the baby was produced, imagined!... that, as she said to me: "I know the priest doesn't like me!". But, Fr. Dimitry had not said ONE word to her,.. (though one wonders what a Catholic priest in those days might have said to her!) to that effect. It was purely her guilty conscience. Fr. Dimitry cared about... saving souls! first and last. It was... why... he was a priest, after all. And, he was aiming at Heaven for himself regardless. He hoped others would also go there.
Once someone said to him: "Father, I'm tired of this life. I want to go to Heaven!" Fr. Dimitry's response: "AAH!... but!... are you... READY... for Heaven!???" That response caused the person to deeply reflect on his life. He then had to answer him: "No, Father, I guess I'm not ready!"
Father Dimitry was stationed in the Santa Barbara (St. Vladimir's) parish, for some period of years, and his Kazan Skete nuns were also down there with him at some point. (I seem to remember that that period of time, was his last official parish-assignment, as after Santa Barbara... he 'officially retired' to his Kazan Skete in Santa Rosa.) But the exact years & details of their life there, down in Santa Barbara I don't really know a lot about. Best to ask Mother Susanna and/or Mother Victoria about that period.
However, I was able to visit them down there for part of one Holy Week, one time. At that point, there were 4-5 nuns as I remember, and they resided in a small building to the rear of the church's garden. The nuns's presence, of course, meant that Fr. Dimitry had his own ready-made choir. The few elderly Russian parishioners then, were barely a handful of souls. So, in reality, the St. Vladimir's Church in Santa Barbara.... was a de-facto monastery. But, I seem to remember that Fr. Dimitry (& some of his nuns-?) traveled back & forth to his Santa Rosa Skete.... sometimes.
He did have some connection ("Chaplin") to the Calistoga Convent, HOLY ASSUMPTION CONVENT when Met. Vladimir (Nagosky), Who was then, in the duel process of:1) attempting to be appointed as THE western diocesan Archbishop.... to....forcably (if need be)..... replace Archbishop John Shahovskoy... whom he was pushing! to retire earlier than he had originally planned on! AND, 2) power-hungry Met. Vladimir wanted to make the Calistoga 'convent' HIS personal residence, including his 'missionary men's order'. Met. Vladimir was attempting to change over-night and abruptly the women's monastery (it was founded as such in the late-1940's, as far as I can remember,.... by a German-convert of Archbishop John Shahovskoy, Abbess Anna, as a WOMEN'S Monastery!), into his well-meant but bizarre! concept of: "A Men's Missionary Order", (which, very Roman Catholic an idea, could hardly have been proper an experiment, ANYWAY! on the premise of an existing Orthodox Women's Monastery!)... which at that time (about 1972-74) forced! the founding Abbess Anna & her one or two nuns to FLEE! down to Menlo Park, where they lived 'in exile' till their deaths years later. When Met. Vladimir, who up to that point had always flattered & seemed to like Fr. Dimitry, asked Father his opinion of his concepts and goals of his "missionary men's order", (which enterprise never materialized, by the way) all that Father (as Fr. Dimitry told me later) said in his quiet & private response to him: was, "Vladyka,… maybe?…. it's… not… Orthodox?" in his usual meek tone., as... merely ASKING a question, as his answer, which was Fr. Dimitry's normal way. After that response, Fr. Dimitry told me, that: "Vladyka Vladimir..... HATES!... me!" ...in a clearly distressed and bewildered a way,( in other words, Fr. Dimitry could not understand the anger! of Met. Vladimir, against himself), as all that Father had done, was to give his superior bishop, his honest... and .. private.. answer. Fr. Dimitry... always told the truth, and so..... he expected others (especially fellow clergy!) to do the same!
Fr. Dimitry... cared about what was.. right, and if he was persecuted for speaking the truth, then.... SLAVA BOGU! Fr. Dimitry was 100% opposed to this unjust, un -Orthodox, uncanonical, and just plain WRONG destruction of the Calistoga Women's Monastery. That former convent, has never yet recovered. The sad history there (which full history, is... more complicated than my few words here), is a main causative reason why... refugee nuns... later, came to Fr. Dimitry's Kazan Skete, and have made it a women's skete, and why Mother Victoria now has her own (clearly successful) women's monastery down near Santa Paula, California.
The Good Lord.... not long after this, ...removed Met. Vladimir, and he was forced to 'retire' in disgrace. He later died after a long battle with cancer.
.......to be continued.........
PART FOUR:
PART FOUR.......more to come......
Points & Events to here record: & to remember:
-the general outline of his life....as best I know...........(to be continued).......
-I did not have much contact with him or his Kazan Skete nuns, in his very last period (I was in Oregon when he died), the language barrier separated us, sadly. Also, Fr. Dimitry was not.... truly a good-'elder'/a TEACHER type, at being a spiritual guide for others, (in the monastic setting) generally speaking. He was close to God himself, but he did NOT seem to... want...t o TEACH or instruct others. He did love others, but... the real Fr. Dimitry was meant to be a hermit, I believe. However... a life totally alone with God... and physically separate from mankind....... God did not permit him to have, all his life. Fr. Dimitry... taught... by his example, with very few words usually, though he would quote the saints' words as his spiritual advice to others. He was human, so, he was not (as God Himself is, only) 'perfect', so sometimes he could express temporary upset or even anger, etc., but such manifestations were... rare, and sometimes there was not adequate communication between himself and certain others... often due to cultural/language/generational differences. An over-all visible aspect of his personality, was....acceptance of God's providential will, in ALL events.... which he simply & humbly... bowed to, and... MERCIFULNESS in the extreme! His essential personality, was that of a.. perpetual... little child, living in wonderment, perhaps, seeing the whole creation as it was meant to be, BEFORE THE FALL, with everything... fresh, the mind of an innocent, indeed of ..A Child of God, and of one who had no right to pass condemnation upon others.... as he thought of himself as THE worst sinner, but also, Fr. Dimitry viewed with wide open eyes, (perhaps his frequent... visions... which caused him to often groan aloud and supplicate with his upraised hands, "Vedetey!.. Vedetyeh!.. see... see,..... OH! OH!") the TERRIBLE state of creation, as it IS now, AFTER THE FALL.... which caused his very soul, deep deep grief! His expressions of his child-like self, appeared as foolishness to others,(could it be that he was often considered 'foolish'... because HE put GOD! first?... which is indeed ODD for most of us?) he often read the lives of the saints,... and of course... he tried to emulate them. When he was put into the position of being forced to respond to questions or situations, he usually responded with his meek... question: "Maybe?......" and he often let the hearer decide what the answer must be.
I personally cannot say: Fr. Dimitry IS... a 'saint in Heaven'! ...that is a matter which God... may choose to reveal to us still in this life, or.... not. However, remembering both Fr. Dimitry's ....righteous life and deeds and words, when he was here amongst us all, ...and also the fact that, regardless he was also.... a real human being, a 'vessel of clay'... as we all are (as, in Orthodox teaching, ONLY GOD IS PERFECT!)... the greatest saints amongst us, only can... SHARE ONLY! A SMALL DEGREE! OF GOD'S PURE/PERFECT VIRTUE.... in all my life, I have not known anyone as... good..... as Fr. Dimitry Egoroff.
MAY HE REST WITH THE SAINTS! & MEMORY ETERNAL!... to the humble servant of God, the faithful Priest-Monk Dimitry... who in his life upon this earth, showed.... MERCY to others. For that alone, I declare: THE MEMORY OF THE RIGHTEOUS, IS CELEBRATED WITH HYMNS OF PRAISE! ..."I will have MERCY, and not sacrifice, sayeth the Lord!" ...and... "To the saints belong all the praise!"
-he died ..?, his age at death-?, buried where..? Funeral performed by Bp. Tikhon-Fitzgerald &....? One needs to confer with M. Susanna or M. Victoria for that info.... which I plan on doing soon...... I will put this in "Part Five".........(my aging head is forgetting dates, among other things from the past.....)......
-more of his words/ideas, ...and what others thought of him, etc... to be continued.......
-his time as parish-priest in the old Santa Rosa parish church :I only visited him there several times. The rectory was rather sparse, but really enough for his essential needs..... more about that parish family, I don't know. When we had our St. Eugene's pilgrimages, the group of singers was from Santa Rosa, and our "Santa Rosa Choir" were all in their 80's or 90's, and they all sang with deep fervor... but... very very very SLOWLY!
-more about Abbess Juliana and Mother Anfisa-, 'the lover of toast', (@ M. Anfisa's funeral, held in the chapel in the Serbian Cemetery, Colma, California: in his eulogy for her, Fr. Dimitry said, motioning with his right hand, imitating the movement of a white dove as it flew upward through the air: "Mother Anfisa has... flown to Heaven ..like a dove".) Mother Anfisa had a 4-5 hour full monastic funeral, lead by Fr. Dimitry and his friend, Bp. Mark (Shavykin)... and almost the entire funeral was sung in Valaam chant by the two original Valaam novices and life-time friends. I attended her funeral. I felt then, that I was present at the funeral of a truly good and holy person, Mother Anfisa. Memory Eternal to her! Both she and Abbess Juliana, believed that St. Eugene's BELONGED to Fr. Dimitry, that it was ..his... God-given place!... and that he was a Holy Fool, a saint indeed.
-about 'pilgrimages' at St. Eugene's: two or three a year, about 100 elderly Russian people from San Francisco, general confession: happenings & remarkable quotes, etc. Fr. Dimitry used to ...vanish from sight, immediately after liturgy, so people asked: "But, where? is Fr. Dimitry?"… he was hiding. He couldn't tolerate the admiring attention of crowds of people.... except, of course when he HAD to be around crowds as when he was serving in church, but not outside church. He was at heart, a VERY shy person, more at home in the woods than with humans.
- Another inmate at St. Eugene's in past times: "Escaped from Romania", Fr. Jacob's, time there- (I did not live there then),... and how he vexed Father Dimitry!: his 'taking' of 'money owed to him',.. (his own fantasy).... (which had been the entire proceeds from one pilgrimage, and after it vanished, he revealed to everyone who was searching for the missing money: "I... took! it, it's MINE!"... for digging the foundation for his... unblessed, "Romanian Church", etc. him starting building his "Romanian church" at St. Eugene's, without the blessing of Fr. Dimitry... and then demanding payment for hand-digging the foundation/his other totally self-willed and wacky hair-brain antics, Fr. Jacob's local public antics, upset many local folks, I heard.. such as him at times attending the Inverness Episcopalian church's sunday service (sitting in a pew) & when they took THEIR money-collection, then he TOOK... HIS own collection also. Somehow!... those patient people tolerated him! He was a spectacle to locals also, in his full black monastic habit, (sometimes with glued white paper ANGELS on his black klobuk.. cut out .. "from Christmas cards" as he explained to me once, when I asked him where he got those angels) .. & sundry other bizarre public acts, when he regularly rode his ONE-wheel CYCLE to town and back: he helped to convince many locals that, 'the Russian church' was a collection of LUNIES! Fr. Jacob also used to go house to house, 'collecting' to build his... "Romanian Monastery". No locals were Orthodox however!, yet some gave him money, as they felt sorry for him. All these activities were ones that Fr. Dimitry would not have done himself... and which he did NOT bless Fr. Jacob to do, either. But too, Fr. Dimitry never FORBADE him, only asking his normal question... timidly: When Fr. Jacob had first announced to Fr. Dimitry: "We need a Romanian church here!", Fr. Dimitry pointed to the existing chapel at St. Eugene's, saying: "Broder! here is, Orthodox! church!" ...... & when Fr. Jacob kept insisting, "No! that's Russian! church, we need Romanian church here!", Fr. Dimitry only... asked: "Broder! ... maybe? ... it's not ... needed? ...but Fr. Jacob was as crazy if not more so than poor Br. Nikolai, only never violent... just born-PLAIN crazy! Fr. Jacob later told me, in 1972 that he had 'escaped' from communist Romania, but I highly suspected that they... gladly...... gave him a one-way train ticket OUT, just to be rid of him, just as Castro "freed" all his criminals from his prisons to go to Florida on that famous "Arial Boat lift", to rid himself of them as a burden, and so that they would cause trouble and mayhem for America! In later years, it was reported that Fr. Jacob had declared himself as "Patriarch" of Manteca, California.
-Fr. Dimitry and I kept some contact over the years, earlier on, but I lost contact with him in his later years (when he was declining at his Kazan Skete & being cared for there till his passing, by his devoted adoring nuns, etc.) In about 1975 or so, when I was struggling to put together the total downpayment on my Oregon land, he helped me with a $1,000.00 sum, which was one/fifth of the total needed, but which at that time was a life-saver, and which I later repaid... though when he put the money in my hands, he did not say I had to re-pay it, he left it up to my decision. That was Fr. Dimitry.
-some of the cooked-up and mis-informed CYNICAL & unChristian accusations against him, such as: 'he stole church monies', etc.- these were on-going attacks upon him, from worldly people, who themselves cared VERY much about money and things... and who sought the praise of men, and from "Orthodox" people who... did not understand Orthodox monasticism nor honour monks and nuns! So to that sort, Priest Monk Dimitry, other-worldly oriented Fr. Dimitry...... could NEVER be approved of or honoured. Those types... never stopped their degradations towards Fr. Dimitry.
-how he acquired his Kazan Skete property: someone, unknown to himself, had put in HIS name in the State Excess Lands Lottery, and his name WON some isolated 80 or more, rugged acres of wild-property in the back mountains of Mendocino county, in northern California, HE! had become a winner & when I asked him: "Father, but where is that property?... and what does it look like?". His response: "nobody can find it!, there is no water, no electricity, no road." Later on, after someone HAD... found it, and offered him a modest sum for it, he sold it and with that money, he bought 'his' retirement house, naming it: Our Lady of Kazan Skete, on the outskirts of Santa Rosa, a somewhat aging & rambling one story house, (which when I fist saw it, I had the thought: this house is returning to mother earth!) with about an acre or so of ground with some trees around it. That... God intended as the place for His final times refugee, in his decling years,... Fr. Dimitry to have a refuge at... AND His nuns also, Our Lady of Kazan Skete. Over the ensuing years, the nuns have acquired an adjoining house or two and some more land thusly. Plus they added on some more rooms, I have been told. And their sisterhood has increased, I am told. They used to make ikon-plaques, which is a craft which I taught them, many years back, and which has produced some serious income for them, "little-by-little" . If they still today make the ikons, I do not know, but most likely they do.
-the candle-making efforts, at St. Eugene's, set-up in 1965 & supervised by tall & patriarchal-looking Siberian Fr. Prokopy Parvanitzin ("Powers") at St. Eugene's when I was there as a novice in 1964-65: ..... I will go into in the next installment.......... BUT!... he had two reasons for his COSTLY efforts at creating a church-candle making 'factory' at St. Eugene's: one was for traditional monastic-labouring,... which we needed there, and two, because it was hoped by him that this work would help to support the monastic brotherhood, BY THE WORK OF OUR OWN HANDS... and thus to not be a burden on others in the church or society (so as to NOT be: 'monastic parasites'). And plus, at that time, there was a shortage of candles for our diocesan churches, anyway. Well, after Fr. Dimitry had expended a large sum of money on materials... all specified by our supervisor of the whole effort, towering old Siberian, Fr. Prokopy Parvarnitzin ('Powers"),... and as we were FINALLY beginning to make some rather passable candles, then.... we heard from our Archbishop, to ... stop!...... as 'monks don't make business!'. Once again, our diocesan bishop, who should have been encouraging us, was instead hampering our EVERY effort to exist and prosper. Archbishop John Shahovskoy was the single-most negative impediment to St. Eugene's prospering as a traditional Orthodox monastery. But, poor Fr. Dimitry would not have vocalized what I am saying here. But… I… say it.
Later on, after I had departed from St. Eugene's, there was a serious candle-making related fire in the ramshackle house where they were being made (the woodstove, caught the melted wax on fire)... and the local fire department issued an order forbidding any candle-making in that structure. So, that effort totally flopped. What was needed, was a proper, safe building and proper equipment, and CAREFULNESS that's all. Also, I had heard that Nikolai may have deliberately... 'allowed' the fire to develop, as he hated doing that work, even when we first started it, when I was a novice there. Poor Nikolai showed signs of demonic possession, not mere 'mental illness'. I believe that there IS a difference. One example: sometimes..during church services, Nikolai would start laughing, and Fr. Dimitry had to tell him: "Go out!", and Nikolai was constantly trying to turn Fr. Dimitry against me, by telling him lies about me (when I had thought Nikolai was my friend), and other negative activities. I knew that it was not the real Nikolai, but the devil inside him, prompting these things.
When he was really acting up, Nikolai had literal... fire in his eyes. But... most of the time, he seemed normal....... Someone once asked me, .."but if Fr. Dimitry was himself a holy man, why... didn't he.... EXORCISE Nikolai? and heal him. To that question, I have no clear answer, except to say, that being in Fr. Dimitry's presence... did... for much of the time, give Nikolai ...some.... calmness/a home/some peace. But, as to the exorcism question: out of the lives of the early monastics, it is recorded that: "only ...certain.... fathers... had the unique and special gift of exorcism, it was not found in every holy man's power to do it". Plus, simply put, perhaps it was not God's will for this to happen? We just don't know. This question is like asking, WHY?.... does anything in life happen the way it does, both good and bad events.
We....are not given to know all these answers, pure and simple. God knows, alone! We can only say: "But.... as God wills, Glory to God!, for all things!"......and........"For ...all things.... are Thy servants, OH Lord!".
-Fr. Dimitry use to hand-wash his clothes ....in his large galvanized-metal-wash-tub (after his bath in it) & then dry his clothes on the nearby Hydrangea bush, sometimes he washed his socks in the metal wash-tub WITH himself sitting in the tub at the same time, ...he was used to living...s imply & without modern conveniences. Around his St. Eugene's, he wore tattered old cassocks, but when he had to go out into the world, he was clean and neat and well-dressed. His tastes in vestments (all of which, of course were worn-out hand-me-down donated gifts)... ran to the gaudy, though I don't think he cared what they looked like, if only they were the proper (Russian practice) liturgical colour for that feast. He did like one horrible chartreuse-green felonion.
-Fr. Dimitry and the bees: he said: "bee stings are 'good for arthritis" (so, the more the better!),... I once saw him COVERED with hundreds of bees... which I... ran away from, but not he!........... and the delicious wild-honey our bees produced....... Bees had lived in the ceiling above the trapeza... for many years, and they regularly flew into our open french-doors to the trapeza, when it was warm weather and when the doors were open. Fr. Dimitry & Br. Nikolai would get a good laugh at my expense, every time I would jump up from the table... and run out, to get away from bothersome bees coming to our table, at our dinner time, who did not bother Father, only me! Fr. Dimitry just sat there & didn't run out, he had no fear of the blessed-bees. When he collected honey from our several hives, we got to eat the (DE-licious!) dark wild honey, directly from the honey-combs... spitting out the bees, as we consumed the wonderful condiment. There is nothing as delicious as... fresh honey from the honey-comb!
-further description of him ...with the two visiting nuns, M. Anfisa's 'love of toast!": Fr. Dimitry always openly and strongly chastized her for this... un-monastic 'love of dainties' (i.e. toasted slices of bread)... Fr. Dimitry would, in a deliberate inquisitional, almost scripted manner, stern tone: demand of her: "Mother Anfisa!... isn't plain bread... tasty ENOUGH! for you?" ...as she looked sheepishly downcast at the table. He did this to her EVERY time the nuns ate with us, (it was like a pre-staged monastic humiliation) ...and she ALWAYS! made herself toast (as we did possess an electric toaster there!) ..anyway, every visit. (No doubt in her confessions with him, she must have confessed the sin of the love of dainties, & toast!... apparently... in her every confession!)
-his words to me , when I visited him from Los Angeles once, and I had asked him about Nikolai's state: (apparently, then Nikolai was living elsewhere) "he...SUFFERS!" he pronounced with deep emotion, and a pained look on his face, as he said the word, 'suffers'. I believe that Fr. Dimitry.. deeply and truly.. suffered with those who suffer, it wasn't mere sympathy, but HE too suffered. He had had much experience in suffering himself, after all.
-Nikolai's sad end .......he ended up stabbed to death, murdered it would seem, in an ally in the SF tenderloin district,... I can't remember what year, having then been residing in a low-cost dumpy apartment building (he received a monthly disability check from the state, I believe) in that run-down dangerous district. Perhaps, poor deranged Nikolai chased the wrong person with a knife …for the last time -? I do not know at what point in time, that Nikolai no longer lived at St. Eugenes, but since Fr. Dimitry himself..... was absent from there.... for years, as he was placed in parishes (& he never had his own car or could drive a car), Father was only able to... visit his St. Eugene's... once in awhile, while it sat... unoccupied most of the time. Clearly, in that situation, and with Nikolai's worsening condition over the years, ... no doubt there must have occurred SOME traumatic event (such as the sheriff forcebly removing Nikolai-?), which made St. Eugene's no longer a safe haven for Nikolai. He was only able to live there, ... as long as Fr. Dimitry was there also,... sometimes..... dodging knives and axes, it was later revealed to me, by Fr. Dimitry's letter which I quoted in this Memories.
May God have mercy upon Nikolai's tortured soul! And, may he finally find rest, in Heaven! Amen.
Over the years, how did Fr. Dimitry financially support himself, and his brothers at St. Eugene's?: When I was his novice in 1964-64, he received many mailed donations from personal sympathizers, friends of his, he got some small stipend from the diocese (I think), and whether or not he received any re-numeration when he served in parsihes, I'm not sure. His life was extremely frugal! But..... most church people seemed to think, 'monks don't need money.' However, over the years, there apparently were some few good souls, who sent him some substantial sums, (sometimes in their wills) to be used by HIM, towards building a better/larger MONASTERY, either at St. Eugene's, ... or somewheres else,... as HE thought best, as those people trusted HIM!!! He put that money in a separate bank account.... but... under his name, (apparently), to exactly... protect it from diocesan vultures...... who he KNEW would try to grab it... for THEIR own purposes, & not use it to build a monastery – the purpose which the donors had specified that their money go toward!!! Well, when various ...vultures among his fellow clergy found out about that money, some immediately, WITHOUT asking him the particulars even or 'his side': angrily accused him of: "stealing church funds", etc....a nd other such rubbish. Remember too, St. Eugene's property, belonged to the diocese, THOUGH IT WAS 'NEVER TO BE SOLD"! in the deed, which deed, I... have personally viewed and read, very carefully, and it was not under Fr. Dimitry's control (he was merely... a guest there)... plus ever since it was first donated to the diocese, various leading clergy and laity in the parishes (most especially the cathedral in SF)... had been conniving CONSTANTLY!!! to find ANY way... to sell it, and to use that money... for purposes which THEY preferred. None of those folks, wanted a monastery!... which they saw as a rival to their parish financial interests... and monks and nuns seen as.. 'parasites', etc. Hence, to Fr. Dimitry, he was GUARDING the donated monies, given into his hands, FOR A MONASTERY! But, they accused him of this mis-use of 'church funds'! baloney!
AS OF of this date, I have heard that the diocese is in the process (or has already done it)... of... selling St. Eugene's! They recently... tore down the existing chapel there, built by Konstantine Chekene years ago! And, how? can they do this foul act?... thereby disregarding the donor's SACRED-donation to the church (i.e. to God),- of her INTENTION and in Memory of her son Eugene Lewry!, and also thereby abrogating the grant-deed's punitive prohibition that: "And if anyone in the church shall even ATTEMPT to sell St. Eugene's Hermitage, then... it shall be seized and returned to..... the heirs of Mary Lewry". Well, alas!... as to anyone's knowledge, her heirs are all, like her, gone from this earth, so....... apparently the diocesan legal advisors think that they can do... whatever! they want with that property, ...as if...... GOD didn't care even.
SO! when in past years, the foes of monasticism in the diocese, critics of poor Fr. Dimitry..... tried many times to sell off St. Eugenes from under his very feet (when his bishop would allow his ... feet.... an occasional stay there, from his endless parish assignments) and to slander and defame Fr. Dimitry for 'mis-use or theft of church funds' (all proven to be utter LIES!) because he was guarding, as a sacred trust, donated monies to build a monastery, NOW these same types are THEMSELVES..... robbing God and the church and the souls of donors, by their abominable!... current actions, in selling church-land to... whom??? That property, as it adjoins the Point Reyes National Seashore... and is now virtually surrounded by the mansions of the very wealthy, is worth... MILLIONS!!! Maria Lewry and her son Eugene and her entire departed family, must be TURNING OVER IN THEIR GRAVES! now, as are departed Abbess Juliana and Mother Anfisa too.
This is an outrageous, ..SCANDAL! which cries to the high heavens! May God stop them!
....more to continue.........
Sunday Sept. 15/28 -n.s., 2008 Afterfeast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross
PART FIVE -Final page, with an update on the current status of St. Eugene's property: Already SOLD, I'm told:
My Memories of Fr. Dimitry Egoroff, by Reader Daniel Everiss
This evening, after speaking with Mr. Paul Timble,... who is the one who is composing his life of Fr. Dimitry, I learned some new facts about the current status of the St. Eugene's property, .... which new information has caused me to radically change my mind about the fact,... that it HAS already been sold, and is no longer the property of the OCA's Western Diocese. I first came to California, to join Fr. Dimitry's skete there in 1964.
Many years ago, I personally came to the conclusion that that property, was not suitable for an Orthodox monastic community, to... exist, to grow and prosper,... or to have it's necessary..... solitude-space. All that it was ever fit for, was for it to be some sort of: a diocesan picnic grounds, at best. It was always too small in size, too steep a grade, with neighbors gradually encroaching closer and closer, the diocesan powers-that-be... and recently also the surrounding rich neighbors .....always interfering/preventing a stable monastic community to be there.... AND then the other big problem, the severe/expensive land-use restrictions of the 'zone' which the state of California put it in, years ago, within it's SUPER-restrictive, "Coastal Protection Zone"... (and also of Marin county's own difficult building restrictions), all factors which meant/mean, that NO progress of ANY kind is possible, on that property, ...though.... many years ago, if the church... had been together on it, such things COULD have happened back then. Now, it is finished on that land, all over. And other governmental regulations practically preclude ANY serious income-producing enterprise there, which is absolutely necessary for the monastic brotherhood to exist and to prosper, WITHOUT A DOUBT. The new monastery up north in Tehema, county.... as with the Santa Paula convent down south..... both locations/properties, provide the possibilities for growth, prosperity, income-production, privacy, etc. Perhaps also, some monetary aid will be sent to Fr. Dimitry's Kazan Skete, in Santa Rosa? They certainly need it.
The St. Eugene's property, though indeed donated to the church, by a well-meaning, donor, Maria Lewry, for her pious reasons, nevertheless (perhaps by the will of God, after all).... was never fit to provide a good home for a growing/expanding/self-sustaining monastic community.... and... therefore perhaps now was the time to.... sell it, and use the proceeds (which I am told amounts to a large sum of money, which may be around $4 million, if I heard correctly)).... to help the new monastic brotherhood up in Tehema, County (the St. John of Shanghai and San Francisco Brotherhood... which recently did inhabit St. Eugene's for a number of these recent past years)... to prosper, plus with a substantial sum also going to Mother Victoria's Women's Monastery down in Santa Paula, California.
In other words: the proceeds from the sale of this property SHALL prosper monasticism (what Fr. Dimitry certainly supported).
Also, I was assured today, that... the other main issue, the honoring of the memory of Eugene Lewry, which was a central reason for his mother, Maria Lewry's donation of this property to the church in the first instance....... will be honoured, at both the Monastery up in Tehema, County and in the Santa Paula's women's monastery. I CERTAINLY DO HOPE SO! And, I also hope that that property will not be used for any... evil.. purpose.
For my own opinion, and from my observations... which go back to 1964, ...I... sorrowfully... must admit, that though St. Eugene's "Pustinka" did provide a place of refuge and prayer for Fr. Dimitry... and others through the past years, (it was a way-station! for many travelers) since it was first donated to the church in 1951, that usefulness is..... over, in fact... long over.
I recall the many people, who like myself, struggled there... and repeatedly… failed, to build anything durable or of any real USE for the church, on that very scenic... but... useless property. Many disappointed souls, who spent their labour and funds and HOPES on that land... all came to profound sorrow, when each and every of their...... plans for St. Eugene's… came to naught. I now believe, that if Fr. Dimitry could speak to us today, HE would support this current action, as... he cared VERY much to encourage the growth and the spread of Orthodox monasticism. I do hope, that the entire money-proceeds from the sale of the St. Eugene's property.... SHALL go exclusively to the two monastic communities, that were mentioned to me today, and not for... non-monastic purposes.
Why should...I ... care about any of these OCA matters, now? I long ago departed from that jurisdiction, and am a loyal supporter of Vladyka Agafangel of Odessa, his ROCA. Well, only because of my connection with Fr. Dimitry... and a number of now long reposed dear souls... who were connected to the old St. Eugene's, to their joy... and to their... disappointment, or whatever. Over the years on that property, a whole lot of folks came to woe, when all their hopes and dreams for that place, always ended in ruin and defeat. No one who ever lived there, could stay or prosper there. It was only a... way-station, a stepping stone to.. somewheres else. So now, again, this is what is happening.
I was also informed today, that the small white chapel at St. Eugene's, the later one constructed by Mr. Constantine Chekene (not the original one, built and used by Fr. Dimitry years ago), was recently 'dismantled' and is now up at the Tehema, County monastery, where it will be re-assembled and re-erected there. I suppose then, the falling down structures at the now-former St. Eugene's will be bulldozed by the new owners, BUT....it is probably for the best. When I came there in 1972 to be part of an effort of creating a, "Retreat Center', I caused the constructive-destruction of FOUR useless buildings, the bulldozing/creating of the parking area near the road, the bulldozing of a mountain of rotting old lumber and other rubbish.... all pushed by bulldozer into a nearby deep ravine, and then covered with a lot of dirt. Also, when I was there, I spear-headed the new septic system and also I gave impetus to the drilling of the new & deeper well. My main accomplishment, was the CLEANING UP OF THE FOREST of all the many year's accumulation of .... rubbish (it also, was buried in that handy ravine). I failed in my efforts then, of trying to talk Maria Lewry from donating her adjoining 30 acres, FOR which she had to have $20 thousand in cash, to pay off bills before she died. Nobody in the church would help with that, and so... all that land on the right-hand side of Balboa... from the Hermitage down to the bottom of the mountain, was not procured for the church. But, I... tried. Now I see, that if that could have been realized, that... that property also, would now have been sold off anyway. It is a feeling that, what's the use of... trusting...churches? BUT!.... if this sale does help two (or more) Orthodox monastic communities, then....Slava Bogu! May God's will be done!
So, at any rate, life goes on, and still:
"THE EARTH IS THE LORD'S, AND THE FULLNESS THEREOF"
and
"The Lord Giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Blessed Be The Name of the Lord!"
Reader Daniel Everiss
