Monday, March 7, 2016

Recall Notice (humor)


And just a thoughtful sharing- "humour" ?: (no, she is not the author of this) by Abbess Juliana in Chile: GOD'S RECALL NOTICE
   Inbox  
 
Dan Everiss

Thu, Mar 3, 2016 at 12:16 PM

 
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2016 16:55:43 -0300
Subject: Fwd: FW: GOD'S RECALL NOTICE
From: Abbess Juliana


Date: Thu, Mar 3, 2016 at 7:29 AM
Subject: Fwd: FW: GOD'S RECALL NOTICE



 
RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been identified as "Sub sequential Internal Non-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include : 
1. Loss of direction 
2. Foul vocal emissions 
3. Amnesia of origin 
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior 
6. Depression or confusion 
7. Fearfulness 
8. Idolatry 
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCEprocedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SINdefect is, Jesus will replace it with: 
1. Love 
2. Joy 
3. Peace 
4. Patience 
5. Kindness 
6. Goodness 
7. Faithfulness 
8. Gentleness 
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E.(BEST Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus. 
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others 
of this important recall notice, and you may contact 
the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!
Because HE Lives!
Working for God on earth doesn't pay much......but 
His retirement plan is out of this world! 
 
 
 
 
 

 
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And just a thoughtful sharing- "humour" ?: (no, she is not the author of this) by Abbess Juliana in Chile: GOD'S RECALL NOTICE
   Inbox  
 
Dan Everiss
<oregdan@hotmail.com>
Thu, Mar 3, 2016 at 12:16 PM
Reply | Reply to all | Forward | Print | Delete | Show original




 
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2016 16:55:43 -0300
Subject: Fwd: FW: GOD'S RECALL NOTICE
From: abbjuliana@gmail.com
To: oregdan@hotmail.com; serxenia@gmail.com; sheremetieviwl@gmail.com; drvazira@sbcglobal.net; sphillips@ctsisters.org


Date: Thu, Mar 3, 2016 at 7:29 AM
Subject: Fwd: FW: GOD'S RECALL NOTICE






 
RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been identified as "Sub sequential Internal Non-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include : 
1. Loss of direction 
2. Foul vocal emissions 
3. Amnesia of origin 
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior 
6. Depression or confusion 
7. Fearfulness 
8. Idolatry 
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCEprocedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SINdefect is, Jesus will replace it with: 
1. Love 
2. Joy 
3. Peace 
4. Patience 
5. Kindness 
6. Goodness 
7. Faithfulness 
8. Gentleness 
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E.(BEST Instructions Before Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus. 
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others 
of this important recall notice, and you may contact 
the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!
Because HE Lives!
Working for God on earth doesn't pay much......but 
His retirement plan is out of this world! 
 
 
 
 
 

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